Can you imagine the feeling gripping Judas’ soul? You walk closely with one of the greatest men you have ever known. He never did anything but trust you with His finances, love you and bring you up into a place that you didn’t know was possible. After three of the best years of your life you are sure that this Man must be the Messiah, so you set up a way for Him to prove that He is going to take over rule of Israel by force from the Romans and make some money in the process. When the time comes to do the betrayal, the sign of your betrayal is a kiss. Throughout that night and the following day you begin to realize that the One you are betraying is not going to take over Israel by force. He was the greatest Man that you knew, you knew that He had never done anything wrong – sure He irritated you sometimes, but that was because He was just so darn righteous and you just weren’t. He let you get away with things and then gave you a chance to redeem yourself, always encouraging you and showing you that you are someone different from what you see of yourself. And you look back on it all and see what you have done. You have betrayed this Man. You have betrayed Innocent Blood.
Judas knew everything that Jesus did for the years that he was with Him. Jesus, knowing that Judas was a greedy swindler, put him in charge of the money that was given to Him. Judas would steal from the money, and surely Jesus had caught him doing so and didn’t take away this responsibility because the gifts and callings of God are irrevocable. Judas saw Jesus heal innumerable people, so many that John’s gospel says that if it were all recorded and the whole earth were a library, there would not be enough room for the full record – and God does not exaggerate in His Word, mind you. He was there when Jesus dealt with the adulterous woman so compassionately that everyone present was humbled and she left the scene feeling love she never knew. He was at their last meal with Jesus, when Jesus told him to go and do what he was going to do quickly. He must have wondered how Jesus knew what he had planned and thought that Jesus approved of it, thus spurring him on to his plan that would exalt their group into power.
Judas was not rejoicing in the fact that Jesus was a perfect sacrifice of eternal blood to atone for the sins of all men eternally. He had no concept of a resurrection from the dead done by the One who had died. He had seen Jesus raise the dead, but who would raise Him up? Judas knew he couldn’t do it, and he knew the other Eleven and surely thought very little of their ability to resurrect their Rabbi. He watched the whole process and saw that he had near single-handedly ruined the lives of everyone he had lived with for the last years. He felt every bit of the shame and when he tried to reverse what he had done, the religious leaders who he thought would restore things to normal did nothing. It really is no wonder he killed himself under those circumstances.
When we read the Bible, it is not a good idea to read it like a text book. There are real people involved, real emotions flopping around every page and real spiritual forces that are influencing every situation. The Bible is not a good book, it is a Divine Library of 66 books that are all sown together with a scarlet thread called Redemption. If someone read a third-person account of your day today, could they fully understand everything and make conclusions based on your words and actions? No, there is back-story and emotions and thoughts that no one could have known about from “just the facts”. Read your Bible with the Helper, He’ll help you understand what’s going on.
*Jesus, thank You for Your Innocent Blood shed and Your Body resurrected. Amen*
